Today's thoughts

Ok... I guess I have to write in English sometimes for mostly American friends who stumble upon my blog. In actuality, I like writing in English because this language makes me articulate things more direct than Japanese.

It was passed midnight and about 11am EST, so I called Ann Hall at the Theatre Department at Salem State College where I used to work. Even though I have accepted my life here in Japan, I am not so sure whether I made a right choice to leave there. Don't get me wrong because I am happy here. What happend tonight was that suddenly I missed all of the things I was doing over there with my old job and my ex-colleagues. It is not certain that speaking to them would have helped me, but I enjoyed the conversation that I had. It has been three months since I came back to Saga, Japan. My adjustment period is over, and it seems that the real test begins now.

What do I try to judge my life with how much money I make and/or how many hours I work. These things really doesn't bring happiness. I am doing things that doesn't make whole a lot of money and it is ok. So I tell myself that. Why do I still compare with other people'e life? I have always led a unique life. I always have chosen my way. I have done things differently than others.

I just feel guilty a little bit, that's all. Because I seem to live an easy life. I am very fortunate that way. I want to work harder. I want to teach more. But now I have to be paitient. There is not enough opportunity yet. I do create an opportunity on my own as well, but also I have to wait for others to bring opportunities.

Life is never simple, but it has its moments to seem simple when my vision is clear.

I listen to Anglea Aki's cover of "Today" and this lyrics always speaks to my heart:

"Today is the greatest
Day I've ever known
Can't live for tomorrow,
Tomorrow's much too long"

Obviously it is very late. Time to go to sleep....

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